adolescent Counseling operation - Measuring Your future
There is an old Chinese proverb: "Tell me, I forget. Show me, I remember. Involve me, I understand." Kids are often optical and kinesthetic learners. Talking at them, or even with them, is normally not nearly as productive as getting them complex in something concrete, before going to the abstract.
adolescent Counseling operation - Measuring Your future
In conducting a counseling program for adolescents, I hear an unfortunate amount of them talk about their lives as if they are over. This girl feels like a failure because she doesn't have a boyfriend. That boy is drinking and using heavily. Those over there are running with a tagging crew or a gang. Some cannot fantasize living to age 25.
Because so many kids are stronger in optical and kinesthetic intelligences than in verbal or mathematical, I find it is much easier to join together with them and to get an idea across if they can see it and taste it, than if they just hear it. In group or individually, I ask them, "Who is the oldest man in your family?" or "How old was your grandpa when he died?" The write back normally is nearby 75.
I get out two yardsticks and lay them end to end, saying, "Let's fantasize each inch represents one year. How many years do we have here? Right - 72 - so if your grandpa was 75, he lived longer than the distance of these two yardsticks. Let's see - you are 14 (or anything their age is). So that's right here on the measure. Hmm, just over one foot, and there are six feet here, so you are only about 1/6 the age of your grandpa. You know that longevity tends to run in the family, so it looks like you have a long way to go ... Unless you get hit by a car or a bullet or get honestly sick or something. Did you ever ask grandpa what his life was like at 14, either he had any idea how long he'd be nearby or what kinds of things might happen in his life?"
Just going this far with the performance can have a big impact. I have seen that proverbial light go on, when they honestly see the distance of their lives laid out on that straightforward yardstick.
From there, we often go to other activity, a timeline. First, I draw a sample on the board or a sheet of paper, to give them the general idea of the project. Working independently, they draw a horizontal line across the middle of a sheet of paper, at least 8.5x14 or larger. The left end is their birth and the right end is the present. Then they add perpendicular lines above and below the timeline. Lines going up are for certain experiences, and down are for negative ones. A shorter line indicates a small good or bad event, while a longer line means something much more greatest in either direction. Each of these lines is labeled to show what it represents: starting kindergarten, getting a pet, sister's birth, going to the hospital, consuming to a different school, etc. If desired, kids can use drawings in increasing to or instead of words to identify each event. These timelines are then shared with the group, with each man describing as much (or as little) as is comfortable. They explore commonalities, as well as differences in perspective. For example, "dad left" could be a huge negative for one person, but a certain for another.
The following session, I return their papers. Now they are instructed either to work on the back or on a new sheet, and draw other timeline, this one starting with the present and projecting into the future, to the age of the oldest man in their family. (Note: This is an leading instruction, because otherwise, some will show their life ending at age 21 or so. other prolongation of this performance is to discuss what choices or chances could lead them to live a longer or shorter time.) Again, they fill in the markers of what they anticipate will be the high and low points, if they were to live to that age. This, of course, is more difficult for some than for others, and leads to discussions about having dreams, goals, and anticipations.
A natural succeed up is a series of activities on goal setting and steps to accomplish goals. other follow-up is a series I created called "I Have a Dream, Too." This pamphlet of activities helps them identify dreams, goals, and how to get there.
Adolescents are generally eager learners when the subject is "Me." The yardstick, timeline and other such activities actively engage even the most reluctant kid into some self-exploration.
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