Chaos Tolerance - A Side ensue of Addiction and Unstable mental health Symptoms Affecting Families
Do you live with person who has an active drug/alcohol addiction-untreated/unstable thinking health concerns-or with person who behaves in ways that generate a immense estimate of chaos in your life? If this scenario describes you, and you are trying to love, help and support this person-- it is very likely that you are living under the work on of Fog-Fear, enforcement and Guilt.
Chaos Tolerance - A Side ensue of Addiction and Unstable mental health Symptoms Affecting Families
I work with a lot of house members who are living under the work on of Fog-and they don't even comprehend it. They comprehend they are feeling stressed, but they often lose sight of the compassion fatigue they are experiencing. house members, who are living with person who has an active drug/alcohol addiction or significantly unstable thinking health concerns, begin to found a tolerance for chaos. The threshold for "chaos tolerance" can become so high that house members can lose sight of how potentially hazardous or emotionally draining their environment has become. This type of tolerance to chaos can creep up on anyone-no matter how intelligent, successful, skilled, talented, financially stable, or educated he/she might be.
I have worked with house members whose "chaos tolerance" has gotten so high that they have almost nonchalantly reacted to situations that would have those of us not under the work on of Fog running for help and support. house members often rehearse their experiences of very vaporing situations (is it ever safe to stand near your intoxicated, verbally aggressive loved one who is heating a lead pipe up on the gas grill and making threats), and recap how they managed to cope (with small or no help from others) until the situation cooled down.
Untreated/unstable thinking illness and expanding problems work on not only the person, but the whole family. house members often caress feeling like they are living in a fog. Things seem foggy for many reasons-some external some internal.
I believe that all house members (who are major stakeholders in their loved one's well being) caress Fog which is an acronym for Fear, enforcement and Guilt. The blend of these three feelings creates almost a haze (or fog-like barrier) for the loved one which can cloud feelings, judgment, and the sense of what is real. Often what happens to habitancy who have a loved one dealing with these types of concerns is that they begin to doubt how to handle clear situations because there is so much at stake.
Fear, enforcement and guilt are often the roots of these feelings. Fear of what will happen if you don't (fill in the blank). Guilt about what you should do, should have done, or should not have done. Feeling obligated to help the person or 'fix' the situation.
As loved ones begin to control under the work on of Fog, they often begin to think, feel and behave in ways they regularly wouldn't. Some things that loved ones may do are:
Overcompensate for their loved one Make all kinds of effort to 'fix' their loved one's situation Behave in ways they would not regularly behave (beg, yell, make threats, chastise, emotionally withdraw, etc) Pay off drug dealers/debts/legal fees Devote all emotional power to helping/blame themselves/feel responsible Feel inadequate for not being able to 'fix' or find solutions Act out or emotionally withdraw/Isolate from friends Forget to take care of themselves/experience compassion fatigue Unintentionally resort to ineffective communication
In expanding to habitancy who are managing thinking health/addiction problems, loved ones need support too. It is foremost for loved ones to get care for themselves in expanding to helping their loved ones seek help. There are community resources (Jami, Nami, Al-Anon, on-line support groups, etc.) available to provide support. house members, who are in the role of loving, supporting and helping their loved one with these types of conditions, would likely benefit from looking a personal consultant for emotional support and guidance.
From seeking help and support from a range of support resources, the fog that loved ones caress can begin to clear. When the tough get going-the tough get a support network! Don't do it alone-seek support!
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