5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A disjunction
There are many steps to take to protect yourself in a divorce. This description will get you started. Your best bet is to talk to a lawyer before you do anything.
5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A disjunction
1. Talk to a Marriage consultant or other pro who may be able to help you save your marriage.
Even if you don't think there's hope for the marriage, "divorce counseling" can help you seek what went wrong, how to cope, and how to pick up the pieces and go on. Don't wait for your spouse to participate. If you don't know how to find a superior counselor, our firm will be glad to propose one or you can check out the directory of professionals at stayhappilymarried.com. Your employment, public or religious contacts might also furnish leads.
2. Talk to an attorney before you do anything.
Even if you don't end up hiring an attorney to cope your disjunction or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before you even discuss disjunction with your spouse. There's a lot to know about disjunction in North Carolina...our laws are complicated and even the simplest situation can be very confusing to families already in distress. Actions you take now may very well influence the outcome of your disjunction (see #3) and you need to understand your options ahead of time...not some time down the road when it may be too late to alter the outcome. Click here to find attorneys who are well versed in the intricacies of North Carolina disjunction law.
3. Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first.
Leaving the house without a good surmise may cause you to pay alimony or may corollary in your inability to accumulate alimony. If you leave the house, you may also be unable to return until after a court divides the property. This process might take more than a year. The best guidance is to stay in the house until after you talk with an attorney unless your spouse is violent. If your spouse is violent, you must take all steps critical to protect yourself and your children.
4. If you have been complicated in any extramarital affairs, talk to a lawyer before you discuss this with your spouse or anyone else.
In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. In addition to the fact that adultery is illegal in some states, admission of an affair can have other dire consequences. If your spouse is a candidate for alimony, any illicit sexual behavior on your part (during the marriage...which includes the time you are separated) could end up costing you thousands in added alimony payments.
5. Take concrete steps to safeguard your assets before you and your spouse begin discussing divorce.
One of these steps is to take possession of definite assets while separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles, cash, and bearer bonds.
Another self-protective step is to file what is known as a Lis Pendens in the Deeds Office of any county where you and/or your spouse own real property. The lis pendens puts third parties on notice of your claim to have an interest in the real estate against which the lis pendens is docketed. The lis pendens is basically a notice of pending litigation that may influence real property. A properly recorded and served lis pendens clouds the title to the property, preventing an efficient sale of the property behind your back. The rules about a lis pendens contain very definite requirements, all of which are spelled out in section 1-116 and the following sections of the North Carolina general Statutes.
A third potential step to protect the assets of your marriage is to get an injunction restraining your spouse from transferring or otherwise disposing of any property covered by the restraining order. Your attorney can also use an injunction to get your cut off property returned to you, where your cut off property is in the possession of your spouse and the spouse refuses to give it to you. The equitable distribution statute also provides a means for you to accumulate an interim distribution of marital property, pending a final resolution of the property matter. Such an interim budget could, for instance, give you much needed funds on which to live.
Other protective measures you might consider in your disjunction planning include: (1) protecting your own reputation rating by icy or end joint cards and by blocking your spouse's access to other joint reputation such as a home equity loan; (2) end joint bank accounts and chance accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the responsible party on utility and other bills; and (4) spending where potential your spouse's cut off property first, marital property next, and your own cut off property last.
While this list will help you get started on the right track, it is by no means a perfect list of all the things you need to do and know if you are inspecting a divorce. For more information about the possession and duties of separating and divorcing husbands and wives visit http://www.rosen.com. You'll find a perfect law library, downloadable disjunction forms, a legal fee calculator, a child maintain calculator, lists of professionals who can help you and stories from people just like you who have survived divorce.
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